The Old Major Explains
By Bret Harte (Francis)
Well, you see, the fact is, Colonel, I dont know as I can come:
For the farm is not half planted, and theres work to do at home;
And my leg is getting troublesome, it laid me up last fall,
And the doctors, they have cut and hacked, and never found the ball.
And then, for an old man like me, its not exactly right,
This kind o playing soldier with no enemy in sight.
The Union, that was well enough way up to 66;
But this Re-Union, maybe now its mixed with politics?
No? Well, you understand it best; but then, you see, my lad,
Im deacon now, and some might think that the examples bad.
And week from next is Conference. . . . You said the twelfth of May?
Why, thats the day we broke their line at Spottsylvan-i-a!
Hot work; eh, Colonel, wasnt it? Ye mind that narrow front:
They called it the Death-Angle! Well, well, my lad, we wont
Fight that old battle over now: I only meant to say
I really cant engage to come upon the twelfth of May.
Hows Thompson? What! will he be there? Well, now I want to know!
The first man in the rebel works! they called him Swearing Joe.
A wild young fellow, sir, I fear the rascal was; but then
Well, short of heaven, there want a place he dursnt lead his men.
And Dick, you say, is coming too. And Billy? ah! its true
We buried him at Gettysburg: I mind the spot; do you?
A little field below the hill, it must be green this May;
Perhaps thats why the fields about bring him to me to-day.
Well, well, excuse me, Colonel! but there are some things that drop
The tail-board out ones feelings; and the only ways to stop.
So they want to see the old man; ah, the rascals! do they, eh?
Well, Ive business down in Boston about the twelfth of May.