Declaration Of Independence
By Ringgold Wilmer Lardner
"MYSELF!" It means that you don't care
To have me lift you in your chair;
That if I do, you'll rage and tear.
"MYSELF!" It means you don't require
Assistance from your willing sire
In eating; 'twill but rouse your ire.
"MYSELF!" It means when you are through
That you don't want your daddy to
Unseat you, as he used to do.
Time was, and not so long ago,
When you were carried to and fro
And waited on, but now? No! No!
You'd rather fall and break your head,
Or fill your lap with cream and bread
Than be helped up or down, or fed.
Well, kid, I hope you'll stay that way
And that there'll never come a day
When you're without the strength to say,
"MYSELF!"