The Poetry Corner

Latter-Day Warnings

By Oliver Wendell Holmes

When legislators keep the law, When banks dispense with bolts and looks, When berries - whortle, rasp, and straw - Grow bigger downwards through the box, - When he that selleth house or land Shows leak in roof or flaw in right, - When haberdashers choose the stand Whose window hath the broadest light, - When preachers tell us all they think, And party leaders all they mean, - When what we pay for, that we drink, From real grape and coffee-bean, - When lawyers take what they would give, And doctors give what they would take, - When city fathers eat to live, Save when they fast for conscience' sake, - When one that hath a horse on sale Shall bring his merit to the proof, Without a lie for every nail That holds the iron on the hoof, - When in the usual place for rips Our gloves are stitched with special care, And guarded well the whalebone tips Where first umbrellas need repair, - When Cuba's weeds have quite forgot The power of suction to resist, And claret-bottles harbor not Such dimples as would hold your fist, - When publishers no longer steal, And pay for what they stole before, - When the first locomotive's wheel Rolls through the Hoosac Tunnel's bore; - Till then let Cumming blaze away, And Miller's saints blow up the globe; But when you see that blessed day, Then order your ascension robe.