The Poetry Corner

The Two Monkeys.

By John Gay

The scholar, of his learning vain, Beholds the fop with deep disdain: The fop, with spirit as discerning, Looks down upon the man of learning. The Spanish Don - a solemn strutter - Despises Gallic airs and flutter: Whilst the Gaul ridicules the Don, And John Bull looks with like disdain On manners both of France and Spain: They hold, indeed, a deed tripartite To see each other in a tart light. 'Tis thus the bard is scorned by those Who only deal in learned prose: Whilst bards of quick imagination Are hipped by the dull prose oration. Men scoff at apes: apes scoff at them; And all - except themselves - contemn. Two monkeys visited the fair, Like critics, with Parnassian sneer; They forced a way through draggled folk, Laughed at Jack Pudding and his joke, Then bought their tickets for the show, And squatted in the foremost row; Their cut-of-jib was there so stunning, It set the idle rabble funning. "Brother," one Pug to other said, "The mob is certainly ill-bred." A sentiment which found no favour, And the retorts were of ill-savour. The clown with entrance stopped the jar - Head over heels - with "Here we are!" The tumblers made their somersets, The vaulters made tremendous jets; The dancer on the rope did wonders, And drew down the applauses - thunders, As Numa once elicited From Jove Elicius, so they did. "Behold the imitative crew!" Said Pug: "they copy me and you, And clumsily. I'd like to see Them jump from forest-tree to tree; I'd like to see them, on a twig, Perform a slip-slap or a rig; And yet it pleasant is to know The boobies estimate us so." "Brother!" the other Pug replied, "They do their best - with us their guide; We must allow praise is their due, Whilst they example good pursue; But when I see them take a flight, Or walk, like they walk - bolt upright, Because we sometimes walk on two - I hate the imitative crew!"