The Poetry Corner

A Satisfactory Reform

By Ellis Parker Butler

A merry burgomaster In a burgh upon the Rhine Said, Our burghers all are Far too fond of drinking wine. So the merry burgomaster, When the burgomasters met, Bade them look into the matter Ere the thing went farther yet. And the merry burgomasters Did decide the only way To alleviate the evil Without worry or delay Would be just to call a meeting Of the burghers, great and small, And then open every wine cask And proceed to drink it all. For, they said, when we have swallowed Every drop thats in the land, There can be no more of drinking, It is plain to understand. So they called a monster meeting, And the burghers, small and great, Drank and drank until they were too Tipsy to perambulate. But there still was wine in plenty, So, in sooth, the only way Was to call another meeting; So they called it for next day. Thus from day to day the burghers Met and swallowed seas of wine, And they vowed the reformation Was a mission quite divine. And today the worthy burghers In that burgh upon the Rhine Still continue their great mission, And still swallow seas of wine. And they vow they will not falter In their great reforming task Till the last drop has been emptied From the very last wine cask.