The Poetry Corner

In Kentucky.

By Edwin C. Ranck

(A Response to Judge Mulligan's Famous Toast.) The moonlight may be softest In Kentucky, And summer days come oftest In Kentucky, But friendship is the strongest When the money lasts the longest Or you sometimes get in wrongest In Kentucky. Sunshine is the brightest In Kentucky, And a right is often rightest In Kentucky, While plain girls are the fewest, They work their eyes the truest, They leave a fellow bluest In Kentucky. All debts are treated lightest In Kentucky, So make your home the brightest In Kentucky, If you have the social entree You need never think of pay, Or, at least, that's what they say In Kentucky. Orators are the proudest In Kentucky, And they always talk the loudest In Kentucky. While boys may be the fliest, Their money is the shyest, They carry bluffs the highest In Kentucky. Pedigrees are longest In Kentucky, Family trees the strongest In Kentucky. For blue blood is a pride, But, if you've ever tried You'll find 'sporting blood' inside In Kentucky. Society is exclusive In Kentucky, So do not be intrusive In Kentucky. If you want the right of way, And have the coin to pay, You'll be in the swim to stay In Kentucky. The race track's all the money In Kentucky, But don't you go there, sonny In Kentucky. For, while thoroughbreds are fleetest, They get your coin the neatest, And leave you looking seediest In Kentucky. Short-skates are the thickest In Kentucky, They spot a sucker quickest In Kentucky. They'll set up to a drink, Get your money 'fore you think, And you get the "dinky dink" In Kentucky. If you want to be fraternal In Kentucky, Just call a fellow "Colonel" In Kentucky, Or, give a man a nudge And say, "How are you, Judge?" For they never call that "fudge" In Kentucky. But when you have tough luck In Kentucky, In other words "get stuck" In Kentucky, Just raise your voice and holler And you'll always raise a dollar, While a drink is sure to follow In Kentucky. 'Tis true that birds sing sweetest In Kentucky, That women folk are neatest In Kentucky, But there are things you shouldn't tell About our grand old State--and, well-- Politics is h----l In Kentucky.