The Poetry Corner

The Village Wife

By Alfred Lord Tennyson

Ouse-keeper sent tha my lass, fur New Squire coomd last night. Butter an heggsyisyis. Ill go wi tha back: all right; Butter I warrants be prime, an I warrants the heggs be as well, Hafe a pint o milk runs out when ya breks the shell. II. Sit thysen down fur a bit: hev a glass o cowslip wine! I liked the owd Squire an is gells as thaw they was gells o mine, Fur then we was all es one, the Squire an is darters an me, Hall but Miss Annie, the heldest, I niver not took to she: But Nelly, the last of the cletch,2 I liked er the fust on em all, Fur hoffens we talkt o my darter es died o the fever at fall: An I thowt twur the will o the Lord, but Miss Annie she said it wur drains, Fur she hednt naw coomfut in er, an arnd naw thanks fur er pains. Eh! thebbe all wi the Lord my childer, I hant gotten none! Sa new squires coomd wi is tail in is and, an owd Squires gone. III. Fur state be i tail, my lass: tha dosn knaw what that be? But I knaws the law, I does, for the lawyer ha towd it me. When theers naw ead to a Ouse by the fault o that ere male The gells they counts fur nowt, and the next un he takes the tail. IV. What be the next un like? can tha tell ony harm on im lass? Nay sit downnaw urrysa cowd!hev another glass! Strange an cowd fur the time! we may happen a fall o snaw Not es I cares fur to hear ony harm, but I likes to knaw. An I ops es e bent booklarnd: but e dosn not coom fro the shere; Wed anew o that wi the Squire, an we hates booklarnin ere. V. Fur Squire wur a Varsity scholard, an niver lookt arter the land Whots or tonups or tatese ed hallus a book i is and, Hallus alon wi is books, thaw nigh upo seventy year. An books, whats books? thou knaws thebbe naither ere nor theer. VI. An the gells, they hednt naw tails, an the lawyer he towd it me That is tail were so tied up es he couldnt cut down a tree! Drat the trees, says I, to be sewer I hates em, my lass, Fur we puts the muck o the land an they sucks the muck fro the grass. Vll. An Squire wur hallus a-smilin, an gied to the tramps goin by An all o the wust i the parishwi hoffens a drop in is eye. An ivry darter o Squires hed her awn ridin-erse to ersen, An they rampaged about wi their grooms, an was unten arter the men, An hallus a-dallackt3 an dizend out, an a-buyin new clothes, While e sit like a gret glimmer-gowk4 wi is glasses athurt is nose, An is nose sa grufted wi snuff es it couldnt be scroobd away, Fur atween is redin an writin e sniff: up a box in a day, An e niver runnd arter the fox, nor arter the birds wi is gun, An e niver not shot one are, but e leved it to Charlie is son, An e niver not fishd is awn ponds, but Charlie e cotchd the pike, For e warnt not burn to the land, an e didnt take kind to it like; But I ers es ed gie fur a howry5 owd book thutty pound an moor, An ed wrote an owd book, his awn sen, sa I knawd esed coom to be poor; An e giedI be feard fur to tell tha ow muchfur an owd scratted ston, An e diggd up a loomp i the land an e got a brown pot an a bon, An e bowt owd money, es wouldnt go, wi good gowd o the Queen, An e bowt little statutes all-nakt an which was a shame to be seen; But e niver lookt ower a bill, nor e niver not seed to owt, An e niver knawd nowt but books, an books, as thou knaws, bent nowt. VIII. But owd Squires lady es long es she lived she kep em all clear, Thaw es long es she lived I niver hed none of er darters ere; Burt arter she died we was all es one, the childer an me, An sarvints runnd in an out, an offens we hed em to tea. Lawk! ow I laughd when the lasses ud talk o their Mississ ways, An the Missisis talkd o the lasses.Ill tell tha some o these days. Honly Miss Annie were saw stuck oop, like er mother afoor Er an er blessed darterthey niver derkend my door. IX. An Squire e smiled an e smiled till ed gotten a fright at last, An e calls fur is son, fur the turneys letters they follerd sa fast; But Squire wur afeard o is son, an e says to im, meek as a mouse, Lad, thou mun cut off thy tail, or the gells ull go to the Ouse, Fur I finds es I be that i debt, es I oaps es thoull elp me a bit, An if thoull gree to cut off thy tail I may save mysen yit. X. But Charlie e sets back is ears, an e swears, an e says to im Noa. Ive gotten the state by the tail an be dangd if I iver let goa! Coom! coom! feyther, e says, why shouldnt thy books be sowd? I hears es soom o thy books mebbe worth their weight i gowd. XI. Heps an heps o books, I ha seed em, belongd to the Squire, But the lasses ed terd out leves i the middle to kindle the fire; Sa most on is owd big books fetchd nigh to nowt at the sale, And Squire were at Charlie agean to git im to cut off is tail. XII. Ya wouldnt find Charlies likese were that outdacious at oam, Not thaw ya went fur to rake out Hell wi a small-tooth coamb Droonk wi the Quolotys wine, an droonk wi the farmers a 8;le, Mad wi the lasses an allan e wouldnt cut off the tail. XIII. Thous coomd oop by the beck; and a thurn be a-grawin theer, I niver ha seed it sa white wi the May es I seed it to-year Theerabouts Charlie joomptand it gied me a scare tother night, Fur I thowt it wur Charlies ghost i the derk, fur it lookt sa white. Billy, says e, hev a joomp!thaw the banks o the beck be sa high, Fur he cad is erse Billy-rough-un, thaw niver a hair wur awry; But Billy fell bakkuds o Charlie, an Charlie e brok is neck, Sa theer wur a hend o the tail, fur e lost is tail i the beck. XIV. Sa is tail wur lost an is books wur gone an is boy wur ded, An Squire e smiled an e smiled, but e niver not lift oop is ed: Hallus a soft un Squire! an e smiled, fur e hednt naw friend, Sa feyther an son was buried togither, an this wur the hend. XV. An Parson as hesnt the call, nor the mooney, but hes the pride, E reads of a sewer an sartan op o the tother side; But I bent that sewer es the Lord, how-siver they prayd an prayd, Lets them inter eaven esy es leves their debts to be paid. Siver the mouds rattled down upo poor owd Squire i the wood, An I cried along wi the gells, fur they went niver coons to naw good. XVI. Fur Molly the long un she walkt away wi a hofficer lad, An nawbody erd on er sin, sa o coorse she be gone to the bad! An Lucy wur lame o one leg, sweet-arts she niver ed none Strange an unheppen6 Miss Lucy! we named her Dot an gaw one! An Hetty wur weak i the hattics, wiout ony harm i the legs, An the fever ed baked Jinnys ed as bald as one o them heggs, An Nelly wur up fro the cradle as big i the mouth as a cow, An saw she mun hammergrate,7 lass, of she went git a mate onyhow! An es for Miss Annie es calld me afoor my awn folks to my face A hignorant village wife as ud hev to be larnd her awn place, Hes fur Miss Hannie the heldest hes now be a-grawin sa howd, I knaws that mooch o she, es it bent not fit to be towd! XVII. Sa I didnt not take it kindly ov owd Miss Annie to say Es I should be talkin agen em, es soon es they went away, Fur, lawks! ow I cried when they went, an our Nelly she gied me er and, Fur Id ha done owt for the Squire an is gells es belongd to the land; Books, es I said afoor, thebbe neyther ere nor theer! But I sarved em wi butter an heggs fur huppuds o twenty year. XVIII. An they hallus paid what I haxd, sa I hallus deald wi the Hall, An they knawd what butter wur, an they knawd what a hegg wur an all; Hugger-mugger they lived, but they wasnt that esy to plese, Till I gied em Hinjian curn, an they laid big heggs es tha seeas; An I niver puts same8 i my butter, they does it at Williss farm, Taste another drop o the winetwent do tha naw harm. XIX. Sa new Squires coomd wi is tail in is and, an owd Squires gone; I heard im a roomlin by, but arter my nightcap wur on; Sa I hant clapt eyes on im yit, fur he coomd last night sa late Pluksh! ! ! 9 the hens i the pes! why didnt tha hesp the gate?