Northern Farmer (New Style)
By Alfred Lord Tennyson
I.
DOSNT thou ear my erses legs, as they canters away?
Proputty, proputty, proputtythats what I ears em say.
Proputty, proputty, proputtySam, thous an ass for thy paans:
Theers moor sense i one o is legs nor in all thy brains.
II.
Wotheers a craw to pluck wi tha, Sam: yons parsons ouse
Dosnt thou knaw that a man mun be ether a man or a mouse?
Time to think on it then; for thoull be twenty to week.
Proputty, proputtywo then, wolet ma ear mysn spek.
III.
Me an thy muther, Sammy, as ben a-talkin o thee;
Thous ben talkin to muther, an she ben a tellin it me.
Thoull not marry for munnythous sweet upo parsons lass
Nothoull marry fur luvvan we both on us thinks tha an ass.
IV.
Seed her today go bySaints-daythey was ringing the bells.
Shes a beauty thou thinksan so is scoors o gells,
Them as as munny an allwots a beauty?the flower as blaws.
But proputty, proputty sticks, an proputty, proputty graws.
V.
Doant be stunt: tak time: I knaws what makes tha sa mad.
Warnt I crazed fur the lasses mysn when I wur a lad?
But I knawed a Quaker feller as often as towd ma this:
Dont thou marry for munny, but go wheer munny is!
VI.
An I went wheer munny war: an thy muther coom to and,
Wi lots o munny laad by, an a nicetish bit o land.
Maybe she warnt a beauty:I niver giv it a thowt
But warnt she as good to cuddle an kiss as a lass as ant nowt?
VII.
Parsons lass ant nowt, an she went a nowt when es ded,
Mun be a guvness, lad, or summut, and addle her bred:
Why? fur es nobbut a curate, an went niver git hissen clear,
An e made the bed as e ligs on afoor e coomed to the shere.
VIII.
An thin e coomd to the parish wi lots o Varsity debt,
Stook to his taal they did, an e ant got shut on em yet.
An e ligs on is back i the grip, wi non to lend im a shovv,
Woorse nor a far-welterd yowe: fur, Sammy, e married fur luvv.
IX.
Luvv? whats luvv? thou can luvv thy lass an er munny too,
Makin em goa togither as theyve good right to do.
Couldn I luvv thy muther by cause o er munny laad by?
Nayfur I luvvd er a vast sight moor fur it: reson why.
X.
Ay an thy muther says thou wants to marry the lass,
Cooms of a gentleman burn: an we both on us thinks tha an ass.
Wo then, proputty, wiltha?an ass as near as mays nowt
Wo then, wiltha? dangtha!the bees is as fell as owt.
XI.
Brek me a bit o the esh for his ed, lad, out o the fence!
Gentleman burn! whats gentleman burn? is it shillins an pence?
Proputty, proputtys ivrything ere, an, Sammy, Im blest
If it isnt the same oop yonder, fur them as as its the best.
XII.
Tisn them as as munny as breaks into ouses an stels,
Them as as cots to their backs an takes their regular mels.
No, but its them as niver knaws wheer a mels to be ad.
Take my word for it, Sammy, the poor in a loomp is bad.
XIII.
Them or thir feythers, tha sees, mun a ben a lazy lot,
Fur work mun a gone to the gittin whiniver munny was got.
Feyther ad ammost nowt; lestways is munny was id.
But e tued an moild issn ded, an e died a good un, e did.
XIV.
Loook thou theer wheer Wrigglesby beck cooms out by the ill!
Feyther run oop to the farm, an I runs oop to the mill;
An Ill run oop to the brig, an that thoull live to see;
And if thou marries a good un Ill leve the land to thee.
XV.
Thims my notions, Sammy, wheerby I means to stick;
But if thou marries a bad un, Ill leve the land to Dick.
Coom oop, proputty, proputtythats what I ears im say
Proputty, proputty, proputtycanter an canter away.